New York School Now Says Chairs Are a Microaggression. CHAIRS!

Chairs are Now Microaggressions

“You look nice today,” is an audaciously offensive statement. Because assuming someone wants to be called “nice” is a microaggression, especially with “today.” Were they not nice yesterday? HOW DARE YOU (see Western Washington Students Post Demands to Fire People over ‘Microagressions’ and YouTube CEO: If You Interrupt Me, You’re Committing a Microaggression). But now, inanimate objects and the general environment are offensive and, to quote a blubbered feminist, “Not fair!”

The “New School” in New York published an extensive guide about microaggressions. Turns out, average-sized chairs are totes offensive. Who knew?!

“Monuments, artwork, or portraiture in public spaces that are predominantly (often exclusively) white cisgender men and women” can also be environmental microaggressions, the guide states, as can class syllabi that feature “only readings from white cisgender men.”

An example of a microinsult, meanwhile, would be saying something like “you throw well for a girl,” while “holding a social justice committee meeting in a space that is not accessible for wheelchairs” would be considered a microinvalidation.

Additionally, “seats” that are “too small for many people,” or even casting “models” for “school fashion shows” are similarly micro-aggressive.

Here comes the microaggressive part about microaggressions.

“It is helpful in coping with daily microaggressions or bigger challenges to practice healing activities, such as yoga, meditation, fitness, healthy eating, and more,” the guide concludes, suggesting that students “join a support group or other identity/affiliation group to connect with others who understand you better, and seek counseling and other mental health services when you feel overwhelmed.”

Yoga is offensive to those with connective tissue disorders. Meditation is offensive to those with ADHD. Fitness is offensive to a quadriplegic and healthy eating indicates that you think someone isn’t healthy. This guide is bigoted against “differently abled” people. See? I can do it too.

Of note, John’s Hopkins recently found that young people have the exercise habits of geriatrics. Which explains one reason these young twits are so freaking stupid. Perhaps if these morons spent more time working out their issues by working out, they’d spend less time getting worked up over paintings. And chairs.

Sometimes I just can’t with these people. Chairs are offensive? Good lord.

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